Beliefs – Life Enhancing or Debilitating?

Beliefs pretty much rule our lives.

We form our beliefs early in childhood, predominately from our parents, family, friends, school teachers, church ministers and from what we see and hear around us.

“What we learn, we practice and what we practice, we become”.

Our parents, or parental people who are our caregivers, teach us our to form our beliefs. Some of these are good beliefs and serve us well throughout our lives, but others only serve to create suffering and keep us stuck in lives we don’t want to be leading.

A good exercise is to sit quietly and think about the beliefs running your life. Writing them down can be helpful.

Some examples may be.

I’m not good enough.  I’m not smart enough. I’m not loveable. I never have enough. (money, friends, opportunities etc) I’m too short, too tall, too big, too small, not good looking enough – and the list goes on – sadly.

A person I know was told she was overweight and because everyone in her family were very large size people, not to bother trying to lose any weight. A false belief – she went on to become the size she had only previously dreamt about and forty years later, as a slim senior, she still teaches a couple of exercise classes each week.

Several years ago a man told me he was a loser and would never amount to anything or achieve the things he dreamed about. He desired a loving relationship but believed no-one would love him. He’s now living happily with his wife and children, plus he has his own successful business.

Many people go through their entire lives never believing they are worthy of a happy, healthy and fulfilling life. Their early teachings caused them to believe they were inadequate and ‘not enough’ hence, their life choices reflected these beliefs and consciously or unconsciously they lived mediocre, unhappy lives, often suffering.

Often people will ignore their self damaging beliefs. A person who loves eating junk food will choose to believe it’s not an issue and won’t read or listen to anything to the contrary, despite extensive studies and research stating the opposite. A smoker may choose to believe ‘it’s not that bad’ because they fear giving up smoking. A drinker may convince themselves to believe a few drinks per day is healthy, because they love the effects of alcohol and they fear change.

But beliefs are just that – beliefs, not truths!

Yes, some of them are strong and deeply embedded in our brains, but none are unchangeable! There are people all over the world living lives they once never believed possible.

My dear Mum, often said to me ‘oh you poor little thing’, in response to something I was failing in, or whenever I was ill (which was often in my childhood). Now, bless her heart, she meant well and was only speaking what was in her heart full of love and kindness, but my belief for many years was – guess what – I was a poor little thing, which I interpreted as being somewhat frail, poor and not strong enough to function well in life. I also spent many years being very thin with not enough weight and muscle to support my body well.
I’m happy to say I kicked those beliefs and now see myself as strong, capable and able to deal with anything and everything that comes my way. Do I always feel like that? No, of course not, some days are harder than others – that’s life. But because I changed my beliefs all those years ago, on days I don’t feel so strong, I take really good care of myself and bounce back stronger each day.

Today, I invite you to choose one belief to examine.

What did your primary caregivers tell you and what have you taken on as a belief about yourself or the world around you? Can you accept that maybe, just maybe, it’s a false belief? What would you like to believe instead?

Some beliefs are serving us well, enhancing our lives and determining how we treat others. Those are the ones we choose to keep, but the worn out, non helpful ones, today we begin a process of choosing to replace them with what will help us feel better about ourselves and others. Remember, if you believe the world is out to get you, you’ll continue to feel ill at ease, maybe angry and your suffering will continue. If you choose to believe in goodness, (and goodness is everywhere if we choose to look for it) you’ll feel lighter, happier and more hopeful about your future.

Recognise, and begin to change those old, no longer effective beliefs and Every Day Gets Better. ❤️

Thanks to Mind of Nature for the lovely image. ❤️