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It Really is OK to say No.

December 2, 2016 by Wendy Bryan 6 Comments

Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!

Who wants it, who needs it and who couldn’t care less?

The truth is, yes there’s some who love the celebrations and festivities but there’s also a great many people who find Christmas highly stressful and a huge pressure. It’s all very well to say to those dislikers, ‘don’t be a Scrooge, change your attitude’ but is it that easy? When a large percentage of the world celebrates Christmas, it can feel alienating to be different.

Some people live alone with few visitors calling in while others are going through illness and many are experiencing financial challenges. Christmas can be a particularly difficult time for a large percentage of the population.

So why don’t more people simply just say no to participating in Christmas?

Saying no can cause people to feel all sorts of feelings like guilt, shame and fear (of being reprimanded and not fitting in to the norm). It takes self awareness and a good dose of courage to say no to things society says we ‘should’ love. If you love it, great, have fun and enjoy but if it’s not to your liking and doesn’t fit with your values, it’s perfectly ok to say no and decline participation.  It’s not a rule to love Christmas, it’s just a tradition and you can still love the meaning behind it without being an active part of the madness.

I don’t like Christmas one little bit and I’ve been saying no to it for around 30 years. I don’t like the over commercialism, the greed, the manic pace at which most people seem to operate in the lead up to the ‘big day’ and I especially don’t like the competitive ‘I spent a lot of money on your gift so I expect a good one in return’ type attitude that often prevails. I dislike the hypocrisy equally. People complaining about how busy they are and how much money they ‘have’ to spend while running around buying gifts for people they don’t see all year and sometimes don’t even like! Keeping traditions because of obligation, sadly, is anything but loving.

Surely if Christmas was an authentic occasion, wouldn’t it be about peace?

Wouldn’t it be about truly caring and not fake affectations?

Wouldn’t it be a time for gentleness and generous giving of one’s time and love?

Love doesn’t arrive in the form of Christmas decorations or lavish gifts but it does show up in genuine caring about others, our planet Earth and the animals who dwell here.

Will your Christmas be kind and caring for you and your family and the wider community?

Let’s be mindful, make wiser and more compassionate choices and ensure Every Day Gets Better.

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Comments

  1. Akito says

    January 3, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    I love this! I have said NO to Christmas that throws consumerism, guilt and shame down my throat, as well as Valentine’s Day that pushes candies, pressureized and obligatory love and romance into the psyches of so many now. It feels GREAT. I send gratitude cards (thank you message for the year) during the holiday time but that’s it and have not gone back to fighting those aweful long and hedious lines at department stores few days before Christmas. We (many of us) have really forgotten what Christmas is all about–but particularly because I’m also not Christian, this holiday tradition no longer seemed in line with what I want to put my energy into. Instead end of year time is for me to donate to charities that really speak to my heart and soul and to give in that way. Most of us have so much “stuff”. Letting go of the need to surround ourselves with “stuff” and the seal of approval from others is the best present that one can receive I think!

    Reply
    • Wendy Bryan says

      January 3, 2017 at 7:36 pm

      Thank you for your insightful comments Akito. I love your action of sending gratitude/thank you messages in the new year and your donations to those organisations that speak to your heart. ❤️

      Reply
  2. Gaby M says

    December 3, 2016 at 8:18 am

    I totally agree with the writer of this article. When you ask kids what Xmas is all about most will say presents.i have no need or desire to compete with anyone.
    We are doing things differently, we take our grandkids and their parents out for a day just before Xmas, last year it was Luna park, this year it’s Taronga zoo. Fun day out for all of us, no presents but quality time and no stress. Merry Christmas

    Reply
    • Wendy Bryan says

      December 3, 2016 at 8:59 pm

      I like your Christmas Gaby. Sounds like a meaningful, lovely day for all concerned. Thank you for sharing and stopping by my blog. I appreciate your comments. Merry Christmas to you too. Wendy ?

      Reply
  3. Sara says

    December 2, 2016 at 11:34 am

    What a good point! The commercialisation really is too much these days. We have friends who visit around Christmas every year, and we always say, “no presents,” and I think everyone appreciates that because it makes it easier for everyone not to have to worry about it. Then we can enjoy the visit much more and focus on things like playing games and singing, etc.

    Reply
    • Wendy Bryan says

      December 2, 2016 at 1:00 pm

      Takes the pressure off everyone doesn’t it. Then people can just relax and enjoy each others company. Playing games and singing – lovely! ?

      Reply

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About Wendy

Wendy has been a Stress Management counsellor, consultant and group leader in her own business for over thirty years. Wendy is passionate about animals and nature and helping others to bring more peace and calm to their lives.

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