We all have times when we’re feeling overwhelmed and like it’s all too much.
Being human means we feel – everything, not just the pleasant stuff.
Were we taught early in our lives how to deal with difficult feelings? I don’t think so. Possibly some were taught by more enlightened parents, but certainly in my early years nothing like this was ever taught in my schools or anywhere else. My Mum tried, bless her heart, but she came from a time where being stoic was the primary aim, no matter what went on.
As a kid and teenager, I went to Sunday School and then our local Church of England and often the religious teachings were fear based – as in, if you sin, you’ll be punished and if you don’t follow the religious teachings you’ll be damned in hell.
Thankfully I later came to ditch these beliefs and replace them with beliefs of kindness towards myself and others. When you’re feeling overwhelmed and like giving up, it’s even more important to be extra special kind to your lovely self.
Here’s a few tips to help you through the tougher times.
1. Choose to sit quietly a few times per day. Even two or three minutes can be enough. While you sit, place your hands across your upper body, one hand across your heart area (midway between your breasts is always comforting) and one on your tummy area.
2. Close your eyes if that is comfortable for you, if not leave them open. Consciously slow your breathing. In through your nose, out through your nose (or out through your mouth – whichever feels right for you).
3. Keep your mind on your breath. Feel the air coming in and going out. When your mind wanders off, gently bring it back to your breathing.
4. Do this practice for 3 – 5 mins as often as you feel you need it throughout your day. You can even do the breathing while on public transport, at work etc. Just leave out the hands and closed eyes until you’re in a private, safe place.
5. As you go through your day, say this regularly to yourself either silently or if appropriate, out loud. “All is well and everything is working out for me for my highest good”. After each time you say it, take a nice slow, deeper breath and sigh it out.
6. If you have faith in a higher power, ‘tune in’ as you slow your breathing. When you slow down and calm down, you will feel that beautiful energy of support and guidance.
7. Practicing the R.A.I.N. method can be very helpful. See this link, plus you’ll find several RAIN guided meditations on YouTube. https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/rain-mindfulness-technique.
8. Do your best to think about all the good that surrounds you. Name them or if you’re up to it, write them down. At difficult times I personally can’t be bothered writing things down, but I always choose to shift my thinking off my perceived problems and on to things I have, (home, comfy bed, food, family, friends, etc), things, people and animals I love and all the magnificent abundance of nature.
9. At difficult times, the temptation to overeat, drink alcohol or get extra busy can be high. Be aware that any and all of these activities can serve to exacerbate your feelings of overwhelm. Best to gently encourage yourself to eat well, walk in the fresh air and say no to people and things that can bring about more stress and feelings of ‘it’s all too much’. If you can’t separate yourself from the people concerned, create a little more time for yourself.
10. Talking with a trusted friend who won’t pass judgement can be helpful. At these times we often don’t need advice, just kindness, comfort and support.
Always remember – you’ve been through tough times before and come out thriving. With everything we encompass in our lives, we learn and grow and if we take time to slow down and listen to our inner voice (it’s always there but we need to quieten down to hear it) we can get through our challenges with more understanding of ourselves, a calmer presence and Every Day Gets Better. ❤️
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