How to drive yourself crazy - keep re-hashing the same old thoughts and feelings!
When unpleasant (or worse) stuff happens to us our thoughts can become pretty insane, especially if we're angry. If you're anything like me, you'll relate when I say my most challenging thing to get over and let go of is injustice.
Someone did the wrong thing by my husband recently, in a pretty big way and it's been eating at me something shocking. I've gone from stomping around being angry (and mentally calling the person some very crass names) to being regularly in tears and my physical body has been ailing, again.
Now, I'm fully aware of the dangers of letting my thinking run off doing it's worry thing, but even after all these years of practice I've found it really hard to stop it this time, due to injustice. My turn the other cheek, pacifist husband was screwed over by a nasty, angry bloke and it's got me riled - and way over thinking. No, it's not fair at all! But it is what it is and I have choices I can make, no matter what
With everything that occurs to me or around me, I'm fortunate to have the awareness to realise that if I calm down and look deeper into myself, I always find a reason as to why something is affecting me so strongly. This time was no different and it's delivered a great blessing as I became aware that I'm tapping back into particular childhood events and situations where I felt powerless against what I considered an injustice (and it may well have been, but that's irrelevant). There's also been much fear for my safety associated with the feelings and I've felt vulnerable and frightened.
So the solution?
Be more vigilant of my thinking, stop more often to take deep breaths, step up my mindfulness meditation practices, reassure myself that I'll be ok, be kind to myself and keep bringing my thoughts right back to the current moment where all is ok and I'm safe.
If we spend time re-hashing the past and dwelling on the people and events we find unjust and difficult to handle or, we let our thoughts run off into the future where we're likely to be making up stories and all sorts of 'what ifs' arise, our mental state resembles insanity and our physical body will probably react accordingly, usually with aches and pains, tiredness and often, more debilitating illnesses.
Funny, but my husband isn't angry and is calmly handling it with his usual strong demeanour and, his body isn't getting sick! Lesson there Wendy?
It's hard sometimes, but we can make choices every minute to feel more calm and peaceful and this brings greater strength and Every Day Gets Better.